


Growing Pains

by naminami973



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, a lil bit of angst, a lil bit of fluff, plant references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naminami973/pseuds/naminami973
Summary: There's a seed growing in Yokoyama's heart.
Relationships: Murakami Shingo/Yokoyama Yuu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: Je-united Spring Exchange 2020





	Growing Pains

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lalois](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalois/gifts).



> Hi~~ 
> 
> I hope this small fic turned out alright. While I LOVE Yokohina and have read tons and tons of fics with them both as the main pairing and a side, but I've never actually written them myself. It was a challenge, but I had fun writing this sappy fic and I hope you'll like it too! :D

It started quite early into their idol careers. They had known each other since they were 14 and 15 years old and while they both went and lost their virginities to others right at the end of their late teens, it felt like the very first time when they first got together.

It was perhaps, in some sort of way, a real first. At least that's how it felt for Yokoyama Kimitaka. He was not a stranger to sex, dear god no, and had had his fair share of partners, both male and female, throughout the years. But when Murakami suggested they should just let off some steam together, something inside Yokoyama's heart started to grow. A small seed, probably planted during his teenage years, suddenly got a fertiliser in the form of Murakami's unaverted attention during hot nights when their bodies intertwined under white sheets in different cities.

Anyone who has ever tried to grow a seed into a bigger plant knows it takes time. Sometimes it takes weeks only to get a root, and even longer to have a small sprout peeking up from the soil. Yokoyama's feelings for Murakami grew slowly but steadily throughout the years. What started out as small butterflies whenever Murakami's hand carefully stroked the inside of his thigh turned into this permanent buzz underneath the skin whenever Murakami entered the room. Hell, even only a grainy picture of his was enough to set off Yokoyama sometimes.

The seed grew for years, nurtured by both physical but also emotional love and somewhere along the way, it turned into a small plant. A few branches and leaves withered along the way as other love interests entered Murakami's life and their arrangement was put temporarily on hold. Sometimes, a few new seeds of love in form of others entered Yokoyama's heart too, but they either never grew any roots at all or they withered away when the seasons changed. The plant of everything he felt for Murakami though was so deeply rooted in his heart, it would've taken an excavator to dig it up and erase it completely.

They both grew older. The world changed. Kanjani changed. Their lives changed. But no matter what, they always found themselves seeking each other out in the dark of the night, sometimes after a few beers and sometimes completely sober. Sometimes on tour, and sometimes when one just simply "were in the neighbourhood".

Twenty something years later after that seed had first been planted, it started to outgrow its pot as it was suddenly exposed to sunlight brighter than before. Touch and teasing, previously only seen during those long nights and for fan service, suddenly became a natural thing during their dinners. During their walk in the afternoon sun on a day off. During private meetings with the agency.

The roots were starting to crawl out of the soil and the pot it was planted in, and Yokoyama didn't know what to do with it. He knew he couldn't go on like this for long, as his love for Murakami had grown so big it was starting to hurt him. This arrangement that had worked on and off throughout their entire grownup life, couldn't be anymore.

The only solution he saw, was to cut the stem down by the roots.

It was quite an ordinary evening. They had gone out to the same restaurant they frequently visited while in the area, they had ordered and shared the same dishes as they always did, they had drunk the same amount of alcohol as they always did the day before a work day and they had both stumbled through the same doors as they always did after their usual night out.

Everything was just as it always was, except for how Yokoyama felt like his chest was about to burst right there and then, leaving only blood splatter and pieces of flesh on his bedroom walls. He could sense Murakami reaching for the lube and a condom by the bedside table but everything was like he was under water. He could feel Murakami's wet fingers enter him one by one until three but it felt like his body was doing one thing and he was stuck in his head just watching, not being able to make his limbs work. Maybe he was drowning on dry land.

"Kimi. Are you crying?"

A hand touched his face and it was then he could feel the salty teardrops getting gently crushed against his cheek and slowly absorbed into his skin. Murakami's fingers had left his insides and he sat up a bit, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He looked up after a minute had passed by and met worry in the eyes of Murakami.

"Shingo. I think… I think I need to speak to you. Like, really talk to you."

And Yokoyama talked. He told Murakami about the way it had started out great. How it still was great. How it had grown into something familiar and homey. How it wasn't enough anymore. How it wasn't enough for Yokoyama. How it was hurting him. How it couldn't go on like this anymore.

And Murakami agreed.

"What?"

Murakami smiled and put his hand on Yokoyama's bare thigh.

"I agree with you, Kimi. I should've just been honest with you months ago, but I thought you'd read me. You know me better than anyone, you've seen me with others. You know how I get."

Yokoyama looked Murakami deep in the eyes, searching for the answer.

"I love you too Kimi, even if you're too dense to see it."

And just like that, the roots of the plant in Yokoyama's heart broke out of the pot it had been growing in for so many years.

If anyone were to ask Yokoyama about what had actually happened after that confession, he wouldn't be able to give any details. He remembered vividly how his arms wrapped around Murakami's broad shoulders, how tongues met frantically, breathing the same air as Murakami slid into him ever so carefully, hearts beating fast until they both reached their high, and when they came down, their hearts were in sync.

And the plant in Yokoyama's heart had started to grow in a new unlimited space, and small flower buds had started to pop up on its branches for the very first time. One bud for every single year he'd love Murakami, and there was still room for more.


End file.
